The Trial of Ravenburg-Morovia

Duetarian delegates file into the Supreme Court adjacent to to the Grand Council Halls. A Karkelbanian envoy steps up to the dais.

"All silent in the Court, The Honourable King Wake I presiding as head of the trial council."

The septuagenarian elder statesman steps into his throne, redolent of authority and dignity, before clearing his booze-addled throat. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Court, we are gathered here for the Trial of the Government of the Government and Military of Ravenburg-Morovia, incumbent re-elected World Assembly Delegate, for supposed illegal actions taken in the cause of Duetaria, and for high treason. Prosecution is represented by Grand Nomad lloyd of the United Nomadic Tribes of Catoagoa. Defence is represented by Dieter Hochkatzenburg of the Serene Grand Duchy of Ravenburg-Morovia, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for Equalities. Prosecution will speak first."

All present shift in their seats; Amy Adams conspiratorially remarks to Count Berchtold: "What poor Catogoan taste, prosecuting when Metty is ill with cancer."

King Wake turns to his two side judges, President Shortman and The Evil Yam and whispers to them as the prosecutor realizes he left his opening notes in his other tent, "Well gentlemen lets have a clean and fair trail, ignore your biases and we'll get to the bottom of this matter." Wake coughs loudly and calls for silence. "Thank you, I just thought I'd mention the way this trial will work while we wait for the Grand Nomad's aide to return." There is some quite laughter from the back. "We will begin with opening speeches from the Prosecution then from the Defense. Then Prosecutor will bring forward their witnesses and evidence, the Defense will then do the same. After that we will have closing speeches and then I and my honourable companions will deliberate privately on our judgment."

Siiting in the witness stand, King Clarkeos mutters in Latin to his Justice Minister, Marcus Tullius Cicero about the probability of sucess. "Well sir, Ravenburgers are renouned for their rhetorical techniques and i fear Grand Nomad Lloyd only has knowledge upon tribal disputes rather than International dipliomacy. However, the evidence against the Ravenburgers is incredibly large. The expulsion of several member states, simply for dissent is outragous, and surely the prase Cives Duetaria sum, " I am a Dutetarian citizen" should guarantee all safety for member states".

"Very well my friend, we shall have to watch the trial progress"

Dieter Hochkatzenburg, head of the Defence Team by dint of a Magdalene College law degree, rises from his seat, elegantly sipping chilled Donnhoff and leafing idly through a biography of Olivia de Havilland. "If it pleases you, Honourable Presidinf Judge Wake, may we enquire as to when the Chief Prosecutor will make his speech? If he does not by tomorrow at 18:00, might the Defence speak first? Thank your Your Honour."

He sits, and is immediately helped to a glazed doughnut by Secretary of State Berchtold.

Secretary-General Cliff rises from his seat on the prosecution side;

"It seems interesting to me that the Grand Duke thinks he is capable of defending himself even before the full list of charges, being debated by the prosecution, has been brought to rest. May this be a sign of his guilt, or just an attempt to steal an early lead over the prosecution? I am sure Grand nomad Lloyd is merely preparing his speech, debating it with the rest of the prosecution? This is merely an attempt by the defense to start to spread a bad feeling among the jury about the prosecution, sowing mistrust. Has the Grand duke perhaps misused his powers again to ban the Grand Nomad, preventing him from making a speech?

As for the remark by the High Legate, Tribal disputes can be far harder to handle than mere international diplomacy, he is surely up to the job. With this amount of evidence against the defence, a stuffed olive could prosecute anyone no matter their rhetoric.

may justice be delivered."

Secretary-General Cliff sits back down, muttering a few words to his aide about how it was so unlike the Grand Nomad to be late and how he was sure foul play was going on, before calling the Attorney General of The Dictatorship of telegram operators to have him arange witnesses from Berrington to be brought in by Helicopter immediately with force to be used if required. He was not prepared to lose this case.

Well as we continue to wait I shall read out the charges against you Duke:
1. You are accused of removing Berrington unreasonablly
2. Of abusing your position for your own personal gain
3. Of attempting to spark numerous wars for no reason
4. Of breaching the constitution
5. Behaving unlike a true Duetarian

Do you deny that you insulted His Boroness?" The voice of the witness is heard across the court. His name is The Right Honourable Vice-Captain Polonium, a ranking member of the cabinet of the super-electrons. His evidence could be key to the prosecution of the Government and Military of one of the most powerful nations of Duetaria. Vice-Captain Polonium, Minister of the interior has been sent by His Boroness, the Right Honourable Captain of Greenoland, who earlier today stated, "The Government of Grand Duke Henry IV is nothing but a pack of lies, they looked at me straight to the face... and they lied! Three bags full! And I have evidence to prove it!" searching in the interiors of his five-star general uniform jacket, his eyes suddenly widen. "Oh no! I seem to have misplace my multi-functional court case! What shall I do?" However the situation is rapidly averted when the prosecutor, the Honourable Grand Nomad Lloyd questioned the witness. Although the procedings are secret, at the end the special envoy of Captain Green, and Minister of the Interior stated: "This court is a mockery! But I have proven my case, and certainly Henry IV has a lot to explain to the cabinet of the super electrons." There exists the possibility, that the disgraced Grand Duke may be brought to justice before the great council of the super electrons later this month....

Secretary-General Cliff rise from his seat;

"I disagree with article three '3. Of attempting to spark numerous wars for no reason'. The wars were an attempt to overthrow the whole region. However, when it failed he was quick to make himself appear the hero. I am hereby departing for the weekend, I hope the prosecution fares well without me. Good Evening."

Secretary-General Cliff runs out of the room, followed by his Secret Service, boarding a waiting helicopter.

Also added should be the ejection of the proud hams of pork village, unless that was for another reason

Wake bangs his ceremonial hammer (an ornate hammer, questioned as being non politically correct as that ends show a Lower Schlovowian head) on the desk. "ORDER! ORDER! WE SHALL HAVE ORDER! Right we shall wait for the Grand Nomad to finally give his speech before any witnesses are brought. As he has taken so long I grant the defense the right to make their speech when they are ready."

Dieter Hochkatzenburg rises and saunters to the front of the courtroom. "Given that Secretary-General Cliff and King Clarkeos have anticipated the Prosecution's case by unreasonably opening a barrage of malign charges against my Nation, the Defence hereby wishes to give its opening speech."

"You may continue, Herr Hochkatzenburg," states King Wake grandly.

"Thank you, Your Honour," Hochkatzenburg turns to face the audience. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, Honourable Prosecution, National Jurors, my Government stands here fully prepared to deny every charge laid against us. We have been subjected to a crude and malicious diatribe by states that spurn the basic Human Liberties of Free Speech and Fair Trial, and accused of ejecting Pork Village (a pure invention, by the way), in addition to the fictitious aspersions thrown upon our National Honour. I fail to understand, Ladies and Gentlemen, how we may be accused by unjustly expelling Berrington when they were under Occupation by Madhavian soldiers, and when these selfsame soldiers threatened Duetarian security, supposedly a quantity held sacrosanct by the Prosecution. Furthermore, the entire Prosecution case is tainted by hypocrisy - how can we be arraigned for illegal activities when the Dictatorship of Telegram Operators condems democracy at every turn, and forces torture on its people. For a nation devoid of compassion and liberties to so foully turn upon this greatest of Public Servants, the Rvaenburger-Morovian Government, is utterly contemptible.

"There is another grievous charge against us as well, and this is an accusation of 'sparking numerous wars' - between Duetaria and the Alejandrian states of Greenoland and Nagadoches, I suppose. Yet the Alejandrian states themselves never once accepted our many overtures of peace and initiated the Duo-Schlovowian hostilities orginally, ejecting Romardia (our most respected Founder State, the promulgators of Regional Welfare, you may recall) from Lower Schlovowia without reason. Given that peace between our two Regions has never been declared, we naturally took the appearance of Greenoland and Nagadoches in Duetaria as an Act of War. When the Coalition of Postmaster Madhav and Judeamia responded by sending us a declaration of War, we retaliated with counterattack. What gain, I ask you, could this have brought us? We were already WA Delegate State, already the proponents of unilateral Welfare and Progression, already the Second State after Karkelbania. How did the just expulsion of Berrington (itself a temporary solution) help us?"

Hochkatzenburg pauses theatrically; the Prosecution seems monetarily cowed.

"Thus, in conlusion, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have acted with nothing save patriotism and loyalty to Duetaria. We have shown ourselves dedicated to Prosperity and Democracy - which is more than can be said for the Telegram Operators or Ducaliantia. Bear this in mind, Honourable Jurors, for when the Bell of Eternal Posterity tolls, it shall toll for Ravenburg-Morovia."

King Clarkeos I stands up rather abashed but says levelly
"The people of Ducaliantia apologise for beliving Pork Village had been ejected, this was due to teerrible intelligence- Sensus Versus Popmeius, our intellggence minister has been removed form office for this mistake. Yet we still want to know why Duetaria was not informed about the removal of Berrignton, even as art of a battle plan. We hope that this terrible incident and misunderstanding has not damgaed the relationship between our two nations. May our peoples be allies as long as Jupiter wills it.

"Your apology is accepted in to the record, your remarks puzzle us somewhat. Are you joining the defense?"

"wish it to be known, that the only one, here tainted with hypocrisy is the Government of Ravenburg-Morovia. Th pork villagers, berryington, nagadoches and Greenoland were all expelled for no good reason. And today Greenoland was expelled again! What is this mockery? How could Greenoland and Nagadoches be members of an alliance sealed years before their births? How can they be considered belligerent, when they didn't exist at the time of the Schlowovian Wars? Members of the court, Your Majesty, King Wake, do not be allowed to fallfor the lofty vocabulary and heavy thesaurus! Nagadoches and Greenoland are Duetarian allies and have begun no hostilities! Our connections to Schlowovia are merely diplomatic and commercial, as the Government of Duetaria well knows! "

Having said these words, and giving a final bow to the Judge, His most Royal and Omnipotent Majesty King Wake I, Sir Charles Wilson representative of the Nagadochian Confederate Congress, retires to sit next to King Clarkeos I and they begin a long chat on communistic ideas.....

Dieter Hochkaztenburg rises. "Ignoring the fact, Honourable Members of the Court, that the Prosecution has not yet spoken, and that the Honourable Mr Wilson has not produced a single witness to back up his frivolous claims, I wish to make a quick rebuttal to his malicious and groundless charges. Firstly, Mr Wilson stated that the ties between Lower Schlovowia and his nation are merely 'diplomatic and commercial' - if this is so, then why did they invade Duetaria? And why is their premier spokesperson Emperor Alejandro III, the selfsame despot who ejected Romardia, a Duetarian Founder State, from Lower Schlovowia for no reason in March?"

The Nagadochian members shuffle uncomfortably; Romardian Prime Minister Raimondi Prasca looks triumphant.

"Furthermore, Ladies and Gentlemen," continues Hochkatzenburg, "given the previous record of gross Schlovowian aggression and acts of pure opportunistic aggrandisement at the expense of Democracy, the founding virtue of my Nation, why should we assume that the Alejandrian states of Greenoland and Nagadoches are peaceful? Duetaria is still, after all, at war with Lower Schlovowia; no Peace Treaty has been signed - nay, not even an Armistice has been ratified! We owe this undiplomatic conduct to the unconscionable hubris of Emperor Alejandro III, and thus there can be no Greenish or Nagadochian nation in Duetaria until their tyrannical head of state gains the presience to put his pen where his oratory is! At the very least, for their intrusion into the Chief Prosecution's opening statement time, the book should be thrown at Mr Wilson - or should that be, the 'heavy thesaurus!"

Hochkatzenburg sits to raucous laughing from Defence supporters.

"Mr HochKatzenburg, as usual you Ravenburg-Morovians, know nothing about protocols. It is Sir Wilson , please. Ths is one of the many grace bestowed upon me by Her Serene Highness Princess Gracia Patricia I, the ruler of the Principality of Monte San Alessandro upon my time as Ambassador of Nagadoches. Let me inform you of somethings, Mr. HochKatzenburg, as you are obviously as ignorant about internationalrelations as you are of protocol" Suddenly the gentleman rises to the court and turns to his personal friend, and much admired hero, King Wake I, with whom he went to private boarding school in Lausanne. "If the judge allows me, I wish to straighten some mis-comprehensions."

With infinite wisdom, the judge nods and gives a quick smile to his friend.

"Firsty Nagadoches is a confederation. It is ruled by no monarch, but by a mixture of small states subject to a congress. The Head of State of this nation is elected by the congress to serve for a six month period. The current President is Robert Jules representing the Second Congressional district of Nagadoches. Then, let me reiterate certain faults by the Government of Rav-"

Suddenly Sir Wilson stops and grasps his heart. "Oh My God!" He cries. Someone in the audience has just shot the Nagadochian representative, to stop his from talking! Sir Wilson is being carried in an ambulenece to the Duetarian Hospital of Saint Wake the Noble. Will he survive this ruthless attack?

Dieter Hochkatzenburg sits next to Sir Charles Wilson in the King Wake Hospital, having handed the Nagadochian representative a lush bouquet and Lindt chocolates.

"Out of interest Charles," asks Hochkatzenburg casually, "If you are free from Alejandrian imperial influence, then why is your Forum spokesperson Emperor Alejandro III? All messages from you have been sent or posted from him."

Wilson declines to answer. There has also been a question mark raised over Wilson's own 'protocol', given that he launched into a polemic directed at Ravenburg-Morovia before the Chief Prosecution's speech. Despite this, however, RMSS Director Schiller is beginning to conduct an investigation into the motives of Wilson's would-be assassin, Gaspard de Leyran, a Ponte-Emilian migrant resident in Scarlet Sky.

This is in the memory of Lord Charles Wilson III, First Earl Kingsdown (a title granted by Monte San Alessandro, after his death.) who died today at 4:32 PM. local hour. His weeping wife, Julia Roberts has flown especially weeping, his son Charles Wilson II has been appointed by the Governor of the second Congressional district of Nagadoches to fill up his fathers term. In his state funeral, held tommorrow in his native town of Williams-Hill, the Heads of State of various nations are expected to come, including those of Karkelbania, Monte San Alessandro, Greenoland and certainly his native Nagadoches. The current President of the Congress of Nagadoches, stated in a press conference stated before international media today: "I have ordered for an autopsy, to explain the death of Lord Wilson. The respectable Karkelbanian Doctor, Herman Munster, decleared that the bullet that hit the Earl's chest, did not kill him. He was poisoned....by arsenic." Although His Excellency did not wish to comment further, it is perhaps implicit that he was poisoned by a visitor, when he added "I have instructed the Nagadochian Secret Service to begin a commision on the death of Congressman Wilson. " The last person to see him alive was Hochkatzenburg, who reported: "I asked if there was any connections to the Alejandrian states- his face suddenly froze. In less than half an hour he was dead."

His excellency, President of the Congress, reported: "His son, Charlie Wilson IV, will take his place in the congress, but also in the duetarian courts of justice. I have now appointed him, my representative as witness for the prosecution.

Following the shock revelation of Lord Charles Wilson's poisoning, Director Schiller of the Ravenburger-Morovian Secret Service has begun a large-scale inquest into the death of Wilson, posthumously Lord Kingsdown.

"Although Emperor Alejandro implied that Dieter might be to blame as 'the last person to see [Wilson] alive'," said Schiller today, "reports from a Porkian nurse in the hospital indicates that Sir Derek Jacobi, Vice President of the Board of Twelve, arrived to visit Lord Kingsdown ten minutes after Herr Hochkatzenburg left. Sir Derek then departed after instead going down to the Hospital Kitchens, where Lord Kingsdown's dinner was being prepared. Operatives are now questioning suspected members of and sympathisers with the Board of Twelve."


Sir Derek Jacobi

NOTE: CAN WE PLEASE MOVE THE "WILSON POSTS" TO A NEW TOPIC?

Having just returned from his mysterious errands, Secretary-General Cliff is outraged as he reads the transcript of the two days procedings. Upon this he leaps to the podium:

"Following my last speech I am shocked that the Grand Duke dares to mention how The Dictatorship of Telegram Operators is run. How I run my countries is my affair and none of his, for in the constitution it says I am free to run my states as I wish, however th REGION must act as a fair democracy. The Grand Duke should not dare to wave his snobbish political freedoms in my face. The expulsion of Berrington was no clever military manoevre; I'm sure the invading Madhavian forces did not care whether Berrington was nominally in Duetaria or not, just that they would control the land. The government in exile would have been the ones allowed to speak in this chamber anyhow, so they would have not have been able to speak here in this Hall. All the expulsion's effect was to mean that Berrington could not plea for ais to us. As my Glorious Armed Forces are still in the remaining third of Berrington, it will surely be under its own government in a matter of weeks.

"The expulsion of the Emperor Alejandro III's states is a mere attempt at the removal of a key prosecution member, dispicable. How is arriving here an act of war, just because no official peace treaty was signed? Generals did not roll tanks and nothing else happenned - the action was without provocation. I request perversion of Justice be added to the charges list.

"I wish to end my speech by asking that the head of the prosecution speaks: has something happenned to him? If he does not make a speech in the next two days I request the right to take over from him as prosecution leader."

"My Government, in pointing out the contemptible lack of democracy in the Telegram Operators, was merely outlining the hypocrisy of a tyrannical dictatorship accusing a socialist state of totalitarian malpractice," states Hochkatzenburg grandiloquently, "and furthermore, the Alejandrian states most certainly did attack us - the Greeno-Nagadochian armed forces invaded Luschian soil during the War, as Secretary-General Cliff would see were he to merely peruse the Statistics of the Conflict. Not only was no 'official peace treaty' signed, but aggression continued between Lower Schlovowia (the Alejandrian heartland) and Duetaria - as evidenced by the Trade Embargo.

"'All the expulsion's effect was to mean that Berrington could not plea for aid to us' - yet my Government did provide aid to Berrington, and triggered the beginning of its liberation, as Secretary-General Cliff knows well. After all, it was only when Ravenburg-Morovia pointed out the situation in Berrington that any other Duetarian state intervened to save this oppressed republic.

"'I'm sure the invading Madhavian forces did not care whether Berrington was nominally in Duetaria or not, just that they would control the land' - in which case, I suppose that Secretary-General Cliff would not mind a full-scale invasion of Duetaria by enemies? An occupation of our nations? The effect of expelling Berrington was first and foremost to save Duetarian security and to prevent Madhavian soldiers from establishing a beachead in our region. No Government has fought harder for Berrington than us. I therefore request that witnesses are called to begin the Trial proper!"

Secretary-General Cliff wrote:"I request perversion of Justice be added to the charges list.

"I wish to end my speech by asking that the head of the prosecution speaks: has something happenned to him? If he does not make a speech in the next two days I request the right to take over from him as prosecution leader."

King Wake bangs his hammer "It is done sir, perversion of justice is now on the list of offenses, my my it grows every day." There is some chuckling from the judges and the defense while the Prosecution appear top lose their sense of humour. "Ehem, anyway yes. If the Grand Nomad has not returned within two days I will appoint Cliff as Chief Prosecutor."

Grand Duke Henry wrote:""'All the expulsion's effect was to mean that Berrington could not plea for aid to us' - yet my Government did provide aid to Berrington, and triggered the beginning of its liberation, as Secretary-General Cliff knows well. After all, it was only when Ravenburg-Morovia pointed out the situation in Berrington that any other Duetarian state intervened to save this oppressed republic.

"'I'm sure the invading Madhavian forces did not care whether Berrington was nominally in Duetaria or not, just that they would control the land' - in which case, I suppose that Secretary-General Cliff would not mind a full-scale invasion of Duetaria by enemies? An occupation of our nations? The effect of expelling Berrington was first and foremost to save Duetarian security and to prevent Madhavian soldiers from establishing a beachead in our region. No Government has fought harder for Berrington than us. I therefore request that witnesses are called to begin the Trial proper!"

First of all, I wish to make the point that the removal of Berrington from Duetaria in no way protects Duetaria. Grand Duke Henry's lack of understanding in military matters is evidently shown here. Surely he has heard the proverb "Divide and Conquer"? By the removal of Berrington he has shown his only tactic; as Madhav invades, each country will be cut adrift, taken out one by one as they are occupied until he is the only ruler left. He is far more of a threat to our security than Madhav ever could be; dividing us is the ultimate aid he could provide to the invading forces. This is the grounds on which I wish to charge Grand Duke Henry of treason.

Second, how is the removal of Berrington its 'liberation'? As I see it, Grand Duke Henry is setting himself up as the benevolent ruler, while in the dark he is stabbing the nations backs. What then, if Berrington's liberation is under way, was the point in removing it? The area is still hotly contested, my troops are pushing Madhav's armies back and yet you are undermining international relationships with Berrington. This last arguement of Drand Duke Henry's is dripping with hippocrasy.

Where is Grand Nomad LLoyd?"

I COULD NOT AGREE WITH SECRETARY GENERAL CLIFF MORE, HE CERTAINLY IS A WISE RULER. GRAND DUKE HENRY CONTROLS SO MANY STATES, TO MAKE MANY OF US SICK, AND YET INULTS THE TERRITORIES OF HIS ALEJANDRIAN MAJESTY EMPEROR-IN EXILE ALEJANDRO III. HE KNOWS NOT, THAT THE GOVERNMENTS OF NAGADOCHES AND GREENOLAND ARE NOT ONLY NOT ALLIES OF SCHLOWOVIA, BUT GIVE SHELTER TO THEIR DEPOSED EMPEROR, WHO FELL AS A RESULT OF OPPOSING THE WAR WITH KARKELBANIA. IGNORANT, STUPID, AND WITH NO IDEA OF ANY GOVERNEMENTS BUT HIS OWN, AND HIS OWN VIEWPOINTS, THE GRAND DUKE FINDS IT EASY TO LAY THE BLAME ON OTHERS. DOES HE NOT? HE CALLS HIMSELF THE ONLY PARLIAMENTARY DEMOCRACY. I QUESTION GENTLEMEN, IS HE? IS HE?

NAGADOCHES AND GREENOLAND HAVE INVADED NO NATION, THIS IS A BARE- FACED LIE, AND BY THE LAWS OF GREENOLAND THAT IS NOT MERELY A MARK, OR EVEN A MARK PER SYLLABLE, BUT LYING TO THE GREAT BORONIC MAJESTY IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW.

YOUR HONOUR, UNDER EVIDENCE THAT THE BOX OF LINDT CHOCOLATES WERE POISOED, I ASK WITH THE GREATEST GRATITUDE THAT THE GRAND DUKE IS CHARGED WITH THE FOLLOWING:

I) ASSASSINATION OF A FOREIGN HEAD OF STATE
II) PERVERSION OF THE COURT OF JUSTICE TO ACHIEVE THESE ENDS
III) PERVERSION OF SECTION 18 OF THE LEGAL CODE (THAT STATES THE PROTECTION UNDER INTERNATIONAL LAW OF ALL WITH DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY.), BY ACTING OUTSIDE OF THE LAW IN THE EXTRA-JUDICIAL ASSASSINATION OF LORD
KINGSDOWN, WHO HELD DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY, AND WAS THEREFORE IMMUNE
FROM PROSECUTION
IV) CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY, IN ATTACKING DEFENCLESS NATIONS AND THEN ACCUSING THEM OF WAR. GREENOLANDS ARMY AMOUNTS TO 5OO SERVICEMEN. HOW COULD THEY INVADE LUSCHIAS 400,000? YET, IN LUSHIAN "RETALIATION RAIDES" 1,500 NAGADOCHIANS AND 4,000 BORONS WERE KILLED IN BLOOD CURLIN WAY.

YOURS TRULY,
CAPTAIN BORON-GREENOLAND
ROBERT JULES-NAGADOCHES
M.ATTAY- REPUBLIC OF ATTAY
LORD KINGSDOWN*

*LORD CHARLES WILSON IV, WHO SHALL PRESENT HIS CASE BEFORE THE PROSECUTION, AND SON OF THE EX-JUDICIALY ASSASSINATED LORD CHARLES WILSON III.

Move the wilson posts to a noew topic? I don't think so sonny! How convinient is it not? Assassinated a foreign dignitarie, and then just cold bloodedly write: "may we please move from the wilson posts"

Nice try your "serene" highness" but no cigar. Sorry.